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I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

*I do physical labor
*I work at great depths
*I work head first
*I do not get weekends off or public holidays
*I work in a damp environment
*I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties
*I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
*I work in high temperatures
*My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Response From The Administration

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

*You do not work 8 hours straight
*You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
*You do not always follow the orders of the management team *You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
*You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
*You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
*You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
*You don't always observe H&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
*You don't wait until pension age before retiring
*You don't like working double shifts
*You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the days work
*And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

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